December 10, 1998
Hi Mary,
From the day I got your encouragement, I have believed that it is God himself leading me to communicate with you. Every time before I write to you, I always pray that he can testify to me before you. Without Him, we are strangers. In him, we are sisters.
God's love is really great.
I think it is necessary for me to introduce myself. You haven't asked me about this. (From this point, I know that you are not a prejudiced person who is used to judge others from surface. God is with you, so you realize a person by spirit. I thank God.) My real name is _____. Now I have not used this name even in our country, for it will bring me lots of trouble to be recognized by my old friends who really do not want me to serve God and to suffer many hardships in a kind of wandering life.
I graduated from The Capital University of Medical Science in 1997. (I remember I have told you about this.) I am still a girl. The Lord brings me into an entirely different world from this society. In his household, I began to know what is real repentance, what is true love, why a person live in the world and how wicked I am, and how kind and righteous God is. My sisters and brothers and I here live consecrated life to become pure and holy as Jesus in walking along his way. To gain the life like Christ to save lost souls is the only goal in life. This filthy and temporary world is not worthy for us to pursue, for we do not belong to it.
These days are just the days for the virgins to prepare oil. The devil is crazier than before in destroying God's people. He makes believers sleep in praying, reading the Bible; uses the sex to tempt God's children to be far away from the Lord, persecutes the saints in various ways, and confuses the believers with many false teachings.
From the last letter, I found you and Charles are all sensitive in literature, aren't you? Literature is another kind of music. I favor literature too. From my fifteen, I had begun to publish essays on newspaper and radio. But, now, I have given it up. Maybe this is a reason for me to write long letters. My English is really not good, I only can write down something. If you speak with me, it is hard for me to understand all your words and to express my opinions. In that type, I had wanted to talk with you some words, but failed, for it is difficult to open my lips to speak English. Maybe it is because the opportunities for practice the spoken English are rare.
I am sorry I haven't found the whole poem of LUXAN. (that
quote was in my memory only.)
Do you remember the Chinese characters I wrote on the cover of the type? It is a poem written by LIBAI, the greatest Romantic poet in Chinese history, living in Tang dynasty. On the farewell to his friend, he wrote down this:
My dear friend has gone away,
It is a very dear friendship and a beautiful scene. I think the place in heaven is more beautiful and peaceful. In this world, friends cannot be together always, but in heaven we can live together forever. How I want to see all my sisters and brothers and my mother and father and friends and many many kind people in heaven! Oh, Lord, let me suffer for the lost souls, maybe you will select someone for the sake of my little love! Amen.
Now, I am reviewing this letter again. I find it is long too. I really want to write a shorter one, but I do not know indeed why I write down so many words.
Forgive me.
Thanks for your time to read it.
Silan
from our old place to afar in the misty March,
like a crane.
The lonely sail flowing on the wide water,
disappears gradually into the skies,
I only see the broad and quiet Yanzi by my moist eyes.
Next Letter